


Love Letters

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Death, Fluff, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-18
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-04-21 09:00:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 11,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4823072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of unrelated Eruri drabbles that I've posted on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shiver

**Author's Note:**

> Since everybody seems to be doing it. This compilation is titled Love Letters because each drabble is a love letter for eruri. 
> 
> Warnings/triggers for the specific drabbles will be posted in the summary before each chapter, so please read with caution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the 2015 Summer Eruri Week, Prompt 4: Touch. 
> 
> NSFW!

It started with a hug, innocent and comforting, given to Levi after he breaks down, thick tears rolling down his cheeks in heavy sobs that are impossible to control.

Erwin listened as Levi explained how he didn’t want to be here, how he didn’t want to live this life anymore, how the pain of having everything ripped away from him again and again and again had finally taken its toll. Levi’s inner anguish wasn’t spoken of much, if at all, and as such Levi didn’t know how to stop his tears, entering into full breakdown mode. Such displays of weakness are a hit to Levi’s pride, but Erwin makes him feel like it’s normal, and okay, to cry.

Erwin listened, and then hugged him, holding Levi together before he burst at the seams. Any good friend would do the same, Levi reasoned. This might be out of the ordinary, but it didn’t mean anything but friendship.

And then there’s a hand on his knee, a touch that slowly crosses the boundary of innocent and explicit. But the touch isn’t seedy or aggressive, like Levi is so often used to. It is sweet and careful, done to genuinely make Levi feel better. 

Erwin even asks, “Can I kiss you?”

Levi hesitates, unsure. But nothing feels _bad_ to him. Erwin’s touch feels nice, so he tentatively nods. “Yes.”

Erwin coyly presses his lips upon Levi’s, a chaste kiss that leaves Levi breathless.

Levi doesn’t understand why Erwin’s touch sets him on fire like this. He doesn’t normally allow people to touch him at all. Petra loves to hug, but he always denies her, because normally, having arms wrapped around him makes him uncomfortable. He keeps at a distance from everyone, loneliness capturing him late at night, when he longs for something more, something to wrap around his skin and make him _feel_.

But Erwin is different. Erwin has managed to pull Levi into an embrace, one that he hasn’t left since. Erwin has always been different from everybody else, compartmentalised away into his own little section of Levi’s mind as the only living person he fully trusts.

Levi’s walls, the ones he builds up so high around himself, to shield himself from pain, fall down for only Erwin. He has Erwin’s hands and lips and body, pressed up against him, pleasuring him in a way nobody has before. It’s a massive act of trust, for Levi, who fears so easily and blocks everybody out because of it.

Erwin’s hand snakes down Levi’s neck, curling around it. His fingers are long - longer than Levi’s - and they can wrap halfway around his neck in a tight grip.

The action makes Levi shiver. Erwin always holds Levi’s life in his hands, through their dynamic as Commander and soldier. But right now, Erwin quite literally holds Levi’s life in his hand. If he applies too much pressure, and he could choke Levi to death. If he twists his hand too much, he could break his neck. Erwin could even grab a knife, and slit his throat, like cutting through cheese.

In so many ways, Erwin could be Levi’s demise.

And yet he fully gives himself to Erwin, leaning forward, allowing Erwin to hold his neck. He allows Erwin to touch him, to explore him, to have him.

He gives his life to Erwin’s palms, just like he gives his life to Erwin’s command.

Erwin whispers upon Levi’s forehead, “Do you trust me?”

“Always,” Levi replies, out of breath and strained, but pure in his words.

They rid themselves of their clothes, slowly peeling them off. When Erwin finds a particularly appealing space of flesh, he’ll stop to suck and lick. Levi turns into a quivering mess, unsure of how to act, and unsure of how to feel.

He’s never had sex like this, so sensual and slow and soft, and he’s never felt such strong arousal and desire like this either. It feels like it’s taking over his body, forcing him tremble like he never has before, and moan like he actually wants it.

He’s never felt about anyone the way he’s felt for Erwin. He wants to have sex with Erwin because it’s _Erwin_ , and not because it’s sex. He’s not trying to relieve himself with desperate and awkward fumbling. This time, he’s giving into a deeper desire, something he thinks that maybe, he should call love.

“I’m sorry,” Levi mumbles, rosy red patches rising to his cheeks. He’s embarrassed by his reactions, as he simply lies there, letting Erwin do all the work. It must be awful for Erwin, who gets absolutely nothing out of it.

“What for?” Erwin asks, head lifting to look Levi in the eye. He doesn’t seem upset.

“For… For this…”

“There’s nothing wrong with this,” Erwin reassures him, a hand on his cheek, and a hand on his neck. “Unless you don’t like it?”

“No… I like it…” Levi says, blushing even more. “I really, really like it.”

“I really like it too,” Erwin replies, smiling now. “Relax Levi. I don’t mind taking care of you.”

Erwin’s lips take his cock in, all the way, and Levi bucks as Erwin moans for more. His body imprints into the mattress underneath him as his back arches, unable to contain the pleasure he feels. When it feels like he could burst at any second, Erwin stops, his mouth leaving with a slight pop.

Levi looks up to see Erwin kneeling proud and dominant above him. He strokes his own length lazily, content to just gaze at Levi through half-lidded eyes.

“You’re beautiful,” Erwin mutters, leaning over to take Levi’s length in his other hand. Levi jolts, his arousal almost at its peak.

“Not really,” Levi gasps, somehow. “I’m not that… beautiful. Not like you…”

“No,” Erwin growls, like a command, into Levi’s ear. “You’re beautiful.”

Shivers that spark down Levi’s spine quickly turn into a spasms, taking over his body completely, wiping out all five his senses at once. Levi releases into Erwin’s hand with a loud shout, unable to contain the inevitable any longer. He forgets about the mess he will make for just a minute, as he allows Erwin to pleasure him, to make him feel good, to make him feel like he’s worth something.

In that tiny minute, Levi feels like he’s floating on air, and nothing can touch him, not even their terrible reality. Erwin kisses Levi sweetly, moonlight shining down on their faces. The wrath of the world might be out to get them, but inside, safe and warm, all they need is their touch.


	2. Anchor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi suffers anxiety and uses Erwin as an anchor.

When Levi wakes in the middle of the night, his first instinct is to reach for the knife he keeps under his pillow. He’ll clutch at the handle and keep it close to his chest, ready to strike at any moment. The simple act of holding a knife calms him down in the worst of times.

But on this particular night, he is not in his own bed; he's in Erwin’s. He’s naked and vulnerable and left without a knife or any protection at all.

And he is terrified.

After staying dead still, holding his breath for about a minute, he notices soft snores beside him. In and out, in and out. It distracts him from his anxiety enough to fully realise that Erwin is _here._ Erwin would surely help him, right? He is big and strong and can fight. Levi wouldn’t die like this, not with him here.

His gaze rests on Erwin’s chest, just barely visible under the sheets and moonlight. He has muscle mass, enough to overpower almost anyone, even without a weapon. For a while, it’s that thought that keeps Levi calm.

But suddenly, the panic seizes him again, tearing through him like ravaged lightning, destroying his steady heartbeat and breathing in an instant. He needs more. He needs to _feel_ more.

The second Levi places his head on Erwin’s broad and sturdy chest, he feels so much better. Erwin’s body grounds him and brings him down from the scary place. He is not safe, nobody is safe, but when he feels Erwin’s warm skin against his cheek, his coarse chest hair tickling him only slightly, he feels content. He feels better.

And if he listens closely enough, he can feel and hear Erwin’s heartbeat thump against his ear. Steady, strong and unwavering. It slows his breathing and clears his head of all the panic. It helps.

Slowly, Levi’s demons recede.

“Levi?” Erwin murmurs, slowly being taken from sleep. “Are you okay?”

He’s not used to Levi cuddling up to him.

“I’m fine,” Levi croaks, hating the pain in his voice. “Go back to sleep.”

Levi can tell Erwin isn’t convinced, but he doesn’t press the issue, only circling an arm around Levi’s frame to pull him further into the warmth of his body. Levi feels like it’s the final thing he needs to feel safe; Erwin’s arm shielding him from the night.

Levi falls asleep thinking that Erwin himself is a much more comfortable alternative to a knife under a pillow.


	3. I wish I knew how to quit you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chunyunjae asked: writing prompt ;) Eruri in canonverse on the quote 'i wish i knew how to quit you' from the film Brokeback Mountain. Please make it angsty, cuz i'm always a slut for angst. Thank you!! Hold Me Down verse.

Levi rests comfortably in Erwin’s arms, while a sick sense of calm washes over them. He can protect Levi when he’s awake, and when they’re fucking, but he can’t protect him in his dreams, or out on the battlefield. 

He traces thin circles around and around on Levi’s shoulder, kissing the space in between, his cold glazed skin warming under his touch. He noses into the space between Levi’s neck and clavicle and inhales, a scent so pure and clean and fresh. He whispers sweet nothings like a prayer, captured in the heat of Levi’s body. Levi is so beautiful, a masterpiece, even if he’s ripped at the edges, torn and worn from abuse and death and tragedy. 

Some part of Erwin wishes Levi would never go to sleep, so he wouldn’t have to face his demons in his nightmares. He hates that Levi has to fight something alone. Erwin wants to be there to help him, but he can’t. At least, on the battlefield, Erwin can watch over him, as selfish as that is. 

He can’t even ask Levi to quit the Survey Corps, because he’s held here by force, a compromise that Erwin had put in place himself. Erwin can’t say he wouldn’t have done it, capturing Levi like that. It was for the good of humanity. But if he knew back then that he would develop such strong and blinding feelings for Levi, he probably wouldn’t have started their tryst in the first place.

It is so forbidden, wrong, and yet Erwin loves every second of it. Even now, as he lies awake, unable to sleep, worrying about Levi and all that is to come, he still looks at Levi fondly. He still looks at Levi with kindness. He still looks at Levi with love, even though Levi could break his heart in a second, shatter him into a million pieces, destroy him with a single sentence from his mouth or a tragic misstep on the battlefield. In a world like this, it can only end badly for both of them, in so many ways.

“I love you,” Erwin whispers into Levi’s skin, the first time he’s admitted it out loud. “But I wish I knew how to quit you.”

Erwin holds his breath, waiting for a reply, an answer, a rebuttal, but there’s only complete silence, with a few faint snores from Levi in the background. Erwin sighs, defeated to his emotions. He lets go of the tension in his body and tries his best to close his eyes, but sleep doesn’t capture him this night, his own words haunting him to madness-

_But I wish I knew how to quit you._


	4. Leaving Levi

Leaving Levi is never easy.

The first time, in a pool of blood, the sticky redness sinking into the damp grass beneath Erwin, staining his clothes as he watches the light fade from Levi’s eyes. Erwin doesn’t know what to say, unable to make his mouth work fast enough to tell Levi how he _really_ feels. Unable to tell him he loved him. Unable to say goodbye. Erwin leaves Levi’s lifeless body in the outside world, where he was meant to fly free. 

The second time, in a world where Erwin is able to tell Levi how he _really_ feels, Erwin says he loves him, and that he’s sorry for all the pain of their past life. But neither of those confessions could do them any good, it seemed, as Erwin watches Levi’s heart monitor beep to a standstill, just mere months after they were reunited again. It takes all of Erwin’s strength to leave the hospital, to get back into his car, and to drive back home. 

He manages to make it. He manages to live. But it still doesn’t make leaving Levi any easier.


	5. Devastate Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be slightly inspired by Hurricane, by Halsey.

Erwin is cold, in an untouchable way. His life requires it, demands it. But it makes Levi want him even more. He can be so cruel, so uncaring, at times. Levi envies that ability, wishing he could wash away the guilt of his sins only to remember that it should be a negative trait, a tragic trait. Not something to strive for or be. Erwin’s exterior is unyielding, powerful and untouchable. It makes him hard to reach, hard to see, hard to love. Levi shouldn’t long for that or long for him.

But he does, because Erwin is also warm. Like the bright golden strands of his hair imply, he can bring joy, and almost sunshine, when he wants to. His laughter reaches the deepest parts of Levi’s soul. His smile, a genuine smile unmasked with diplomacy, is radiant. His arms can encircle Levi’s body in a hold that he never wants to leave, because he is protected and safe. Nothing bad ever happens at those times, those rare times, when it’s just the two of them. No titans, no fear and no war. Just them.

But that is not reality. It is not Levi’s reality, nor is it Erwin’s. They are not blessed enough to be awarded safety and protection. They fight and they kill and they spill blood, human and titan alike, every day, and it burns. It burns both frostbite and fire onto their hearts, dulling them into weapons and monsters. They love, and yet they do not live as lovers. They keep their distance for it is inevitable that one will fall and the other will survive, and Levi hates it. He hates knowing this, yet feeling for Erwin despite of it. Feeling both warm and cold… Powerful and weak… Fear and joy. They are a certifiable mess. A tangle of limbs and muscle some nights, a picture of mourning most and a destructive hurricane almost always.

He hates, and yet he loves.

_C'mon baby, devastate me._


	6. Chapter 72

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the idea that Erwin would die after Chapter 72 of the manga. Depictions of death and suicidal ideation. Read with caution

Levi has to leave Erwin’s body behind.

It’s a nightmare beyond Levi’s imagination, a combination of the worst moments of his life all rolled into one. 

Upon blood stained grass sits Erwin’s body, a lifeless and broken carcass. His eyes, once a brilliant blue, now glassy and hollow. They are not blue like the sky anymore; they are grey, like death. It’s a mess, the kind that Levi would want to clean up and wipe away.

There was no goodbye between them. No final salute or undying declaration of love. It was simply “Go, Levi” and “Okay, Erwin”. Instead, Levi hugs Erwin’s body tight, blood staining his clothes, a final farewell to the last man he’ll ever love. 

He takes Erwin’s bolo tie, knowing that he’ll have to give it to Hanji.

In the end, Levi has to leave Erwin’s body behind.

\---

His Erwin, the light and sunshine to everything dark and destructive, was wiped away in an instant.

\---

They make it to the basement, but Levi doesn’t see the outcome. As per what he believes Erwin’s wishes are, he stays strong, strong enough to not kill himself mid battle, but not strong enough to make it to the end of their journey. Hanji dismisses him with a small order.

“Stay alive, Levi. At least for me.”

But Levi can’t promise that, especially when he’s standing on the edge of Wall Maria, feeling the wind gushing past his body, making him feel for once, that maybe, he truly has wings of freedom.

He vows to see the world beyond the walls, as much as he can. When he’s finally reunited with Erwin, in a place far better than reality, he will tell him all about the dream that he never got to see.

Levi doesn’t kill himself.

\---

That doesn’t stop Levi from thinking about it, though. By the time a month has passed, Levi has thought of a different way to kill himself for each day. 31 beautiful ways to reunite with Erwin, all possible, and all at his disposal.

But Erwin wouldn’t want that. Never.

So Levi doesn’t kill himself.

\---

Levi doesn’t wash his blood stained clothes from that day, even though he itches to clean it.

Erwin’s blood has always been Levi’s blood, anyway.

\---

When the war is over, and the titans are defeated, Hanji gives Erwin’s bolo tie back to Levi.

At first, Levi doesn’t want to accept it. It doesn’t belong to him, and it doesn’t belong to Hanji; it belongs to Erwin.

Levi wears it around his neck anyway. It’s hidden by his clothes most of the time, resting just over his heart, reminding him that Erwin resides there always.

\---

In the end, Levi dies in a horse riding accident. His horse, the same horse he’s had for years, trips over a rock and sends him flying through into the air. This time, Levi doesn’t have 3DMG to save himself, and he lands with a traumatic brain injury that causes death instantly.

It’s a relief. 

Not many people attend his funeral, but then again, Levi was never that kind of person. Hanji is there, and the brats from the 104th are there, and that’s all that matters to him.

They end up burning him with the bolo tie, Levi’s only and final wish.


	7. This is where I might leave you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is based _during_ Chapter 72. Still quite depressing.

“Don’t go,” Levi murmurs, flush against Erwin’s chest, in a sick and twisted ritual they always perform before expeditions. It has always been their last goodbye, a supply closet with hurried kisses and quick touches. “Don’t go. Nobody will think badly of you.”

But Levi knows what Erwin’s answer will be. Erwin’s dream means more than anything to him, more than even Levi himself.

In a hurry, Levi presses his lips to Erwin’s, a frantic last ditch attempt to get him to agree. It’s all teeth and tongue and desperation, all there for Erwin to see and feel. If he can’t get Erwin to change his mind, he can at least show Erwin how he feels.

Levi doesn’t even notice the salty tears that fall, dripping down his cheeks, gracing their kiss.

“Don’t go,” Levi cries in between their breaths. “ _Don’t go._ ”

Erwin holds Levi against his chest as he dries his eyes, silent, thinking of the best way to word his response. He doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t want to break Levi’s heart. But this could be the end, for everything, and he’d be damned if he wasn’t there.

“I’m sorry, Levi,” Erwin mutters when it’s finally time to go. But he leaves his final words unsaid, in a hope that they don’t need to be said. Not now, not ever.

_This is where I might leave you, my love._


	8. Weak

One second Levi is flying through the air, and the next, he’s on an uncomfortable hospital bed, surrounded by at least ten people. 

The pain gnaws at him, tearing groans from his throat. His skin is ripped at his hip and thighs, torn by the malfunction of somebody else’s 3DMG ropes. There’s a painful pressure in his foot, and Levi prays that isn’t broken. 

He swats the medics away with his hand, desperate to get them to stop touching him. They crowd around him like an animal in a zoo, and their movements only hurt him more and more.

“Go away,” Levi mumbles, eyes opening only slightly. All he can see is blinding white like, so he shuts them again, only able to act through distorted noises and dark flashes.

Everything is too much right now. The pain, the noises, the light; everything is so surreal. He shivers and shakes, unable to stop himself from acting so pathetically. 

“ _Go away._ ”

“I would be insulted if I didn’t know better.” 

_Erwin._

Levi’s hands grasp at nothing, trying to hang onto what little sanity he has left. Erwin is his rock, his anchor and his sanctuary. He can deny the pain all he wants, but he needs Erwin right now, more than ever

“Hey, _hey._ Calm down.” Erwin says, voice so warm, like honey. “The doctor is going to give you the good stuff, okay? Just hang in there.”

He gets a grasp on something - something solid - and he can tell it’s Erwin’s hand. The calluses that cover the tips of his fingers and top of his palm are familiar. 

The prick of a needle hits Levi’s shoulder, and he panics.

“Shhh.” Erwin’s hands are threading through his hair, comforting him. “It will be okay. You’ll feel better soon.”

Later, when he comes to his senses, he overhears his doctor talk to Erwin - 

“ _The wounds are mostly superficial and should heal within a couple of weeks. His reaction was most likely psychological._ ”

Levi feels so utterly stupid. 

“It’s okay,” Erwin tells him later that night, as he changes his bandages and dresses his wounds. Levi told him not to, that he could it himself perfectly fine, but Erwin persisted. “I’ve seen many soldiers break down after injury.”

“Humanity’s Strongest, brought down by a few scrapes.” Levi mutters bitterly, taunting himself. 

“They’re not just scrapes, they’re fairly deep gashes. Besides, you know how bad 3DMG accidents can get. You could have been snapped in two.” Erwin grasps Levi’s hand and stroking it. “You saved that trainees life.”

Levi can’t ignore the logic of Erwin’s argument, because he’s right, as Erwin is always right. 

Erwin’s lips grace the back of Levi’s hand, and then the surface of his clean bandages. His arms wrap around his shoulders, and he tucks Levi into an embrace.

“I know that this life is rough, and it’s easier to pretend we don’t have a heart. But it’s okay to show weakness sometimes, Levi. Especially around me.”

 _Only around you,_ Levi thinks as he curls his head under Erwin’s chin, and squishes his face into his chest.


	9. Privacy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt: Erwin and Levi having a private moment until they are interrupted. This was requested by madame-kat, who won my 1000 follower fic giveaway!! Thank you the support :)

Eren didn’t notice it until now.

Well, to be fair, he hasn’t spent much time with both the Commander and the Captain. Eren had met them when he was in prison, and then they stood together in court. He hadn’t seen anything other than professionalism from both of them.

But now he had seen it - seen how they _really_ were towards each other - he was never going to un-see it.

“Erwin, stop bumping into me, you’re making the dishwater splash on me and it’s disgusting.”

“But Levi, I have to reach over to get the dishes somehow.”

“Go sit down you big oaf, I’ve got this anyway.”

“But Levi-”

“Go sit down, Erwin.”

Eren looks away from the two as Erwin sulks his way over to the dining table. Hanji and the rest of the Levi Squad are situated and chatting comfortably. They don’t seem to notice or care about the two men bickering like an old married couple in the corner. In fact, they’re awfully comfortable in comparison to Eren, who is terribly uncomfortable. He doesn’t fit in here, amongst old friends.

“So Eren, how are you enjoying your stay at the old Survey Corps HQ?” Erwin asks as he sits down. It’s the seat that Levi had situated, the one next to Eren.

“Uh,” Eren mumbles, startled by the Commander’s question. “Well… I guess it’s clean.”

Erwin chuckles, the deep rumbling in his chest reminding Eren of his own father. “Of course it’s clean. If Levi’s in charge of it, _it has to be_ clean.”

In the background, Eren can see Levi shoot a glare in their direction. Obviously, he has heard his name and can hear their conversation. Eren nervously laughs and looks away. This is getting weird.

“And your sleeping arrangements, are they okay?”

“Well… It’s a basement, so it’s not exactly the most comfortable… But I can make do with it, sir! It’s not too much of a bother.” Eren says, emphasising his last words. The last thing he wants to do is sound ungrateful. They did manage to save his life, after all, even if it did result in him ‘losing’ a tooth.

“I’ll get Levi to send you down some more pillows,” Erwin says simply, unaware that Levi is sneaking up behind him.

“What’s this about Levi and pillows?” Levi asks, placing his hands on Erwin’s shoulders. If Eren squints, he can see Levi’s thumbs dig into Erwin’s back in a small massage motion.

“Eren said the basement was uncomfortable, so I told him that I’d get you to send him down some pillows.”

“Eren can tell me if the basement is uncomfortable himself.” Levi turns to Eren. “Eren, is the basement uncomfortable?”

Eren quickly shakes his head. “No, sir! It’s fine!”

“See Erwin? Stop bothering the boy.”

“But Levi, if he’s uncomfortable, you can’t just deny him pillows.”

Levi sighs exasperatedly, rolling his eyes. “Fine, I’ll give the boy his damn pillows. Just shut up about it, will you?”

“Thank you, Levi. I’m sure Eren will appreciate it.”

“Shut up or I’ll boop your nose.”

“But I-”

And just like that, Levi reaches out with a single finger and boops Erwin’s nose. “Boop,” Levi says, clearly smug with himself.

Eren expects some sort of angry, annoyed reply from Erwin, but he simply smiles, happy to play along with Levi’s game.

The way Erwin looks at Levi is different. Erwin is a polite man, of course, but he looks at Levi with pure adoration and love. Eren vaguely remembers similar looks between his mother and father. 

Erwin catches Levi’s hand, pulls it to his side, and entwines their fingers closely.

Eren blushes. He has to look away because he feels like he’s intruded on an intimate moment, one that should be saved for closed doors. His superior officers shouldn’t be acting like that, especially not in front of all these people.

But again, nobody at the table seems bothered. They’re all going along with their own conversations, which sometimes includes butting into Levi and Erwin’s own conversation, which is now on the topic of breadcrumbs. Eren, for the life of him, can’t understand how that subject came up.

“Erwin, our breadcrumbs should be saved. They can be fed to the horses.”

“But won’t that leave more mess for you to clean up?”

“Damn, you’re right.”

“Breadcrumbs are clearly waste product, and therefore, they should go in the trash.”

And later, Eren finds himself in the basement, with five more pillows than usual situated on his bed. He also finds - much to his surprise - another mattress and an extra rug. Eren carefully makes his bed and sits on top of it.

The mattress is much more comfortable than what he had before.

“Are the pillows okay?” Levi asks as he locks Eren in for the night. Eren doesn’t think he’s ever heard Levi talk that softly to him, like he’s an equal and friend. It makes him feel at ease, when he often isn’t, especially around the stoic Captain.

“Uh, yeah,” Eren says in awe, struck by Levi’s sudden kindness. “Thank you…”

Levi snorts, his usual demeanour reappearing. “Yeah, well, next time you should just tell me if you need anything. I’ll get it for you, okay? Don’t go running off to the Commander. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“I- Of course! But that’s not what happened-”

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” Levi waves it off with his hand. “Good night, Jaeger.”

“Good night, Captain,” Eren echoes, laying back. He wonders whether Levi is making his way to Erwin’s bedroom, and not his own.

The answer, Eren decides, isn’t something he wants to know.


	10. Die For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after Erwin loses his arm.

Levi can’t sleep.

He’s always had sleeping problems, even as a child, but the stress of the current situation was exacerbating the problem. He didn’t sleep as he sat around waiting for Erwin’s return, wondering what kind of danger he was being exposed to. For the first time in a very long time, Levi felt useless, helpless and weak.

And then Erwin returned. He was drenched in blood, as pale as a corpse and his right arm had been severed completely. Levi would never forget the way his heart seized in his chest, ready to fall apart at any second. For a tiny moment in time he thought Erwin - _his_ Erwin - was gone forever.

And then he saw those ocean blue eyes flutter open and stare straight at him, as if Erwin instinctively knew that Levi was worrying about him. Erwin had a knack for knowing how to keep Levi’s anxieties at bay, even on the brink of death.

Erwin was rushed to the hospital, rushed into surgery, had his body pumped full of new blood and drugs, and had been asleep ever since. This was much unlike Levi, who didn’t sleep at all. He couldn’t, because when he closed his eyes, he saw the horror that had Erwin lived through. He saw the horror that had befallen Isabel and Farlan, and now Erwin. He saw the horror of the titans taking something away from you, something that cannot be replaced.

And he would open his eyes, giving up on his attempts to sleep, and he would see the stump of Erwin’s right arm wrapped tightly. It would remind him of the horrors all over again. There was no escape in sleep, and there was no escape in reality. There was only ever horrible and terrible suffering in this world, all the time. It never stopped. 

It was petty, but Levi grieved for Erwin’s arm. He had kissed the scar tissue on Erwin’s right hand so many times, it had become a second home. It was proof of how Erwin had saved Levi all those years ago. It was proof of how much he owed Erwin, and how far they had come. It was proof of their bond, and probably the closest thing to a wedding ring they were ever going to get.

But that proof was gone now, and Levi damned himself a failure for it. Why wasn’t he there? He could have stopped this. He could have taken down that titan and saved Erwin’s arm.

But he had been told to stay behind. _Erwin_ had told him to stay behind.

“I would die for you, but you would never let me, would you?”


	11. Claws

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi dies, Erwin cries. Depictions of death, obviously.

Claws work their way up his neck, forcing his breath down and causing his lungs to surrender. Somewhere, in the back of mind, he registers pain. Lots of pain. In his chest, on his stomach, in his feet and on his back. But at the same time, he feels nothing at all. Weightless.

Free.

“Levi,” a voice calls to him from above. There’s a hand on his chest and a hand on his cheek. He can see blue; a sky littered with clouds, and a pair of iris’ staring back at him. “Levi, oh Levi. Don’t go. Don’t leave me.”

Perhaps if he was a better man, he would have done as the voice said. Following orders, like a good soldier to the end. But he didn’t deserve to live. He had done bad things; he had killed human life. The destruction that he left on people could never outweigh the good things he had done in life. 

For Levi, a bloody and painful death at the hands of a titan was his destiny, and everything he deserved. 

For Erwin, it left him heartbroken.


	12. Marry You

“One day, I’m going to marry you,” Erwin said while he sucked a particularly nice, purple hickey into Levi’s hip. Levi jerked upwards, shocked at how out-of-the-blue Erwin’s words were.

It was such a big statement to be said so suddenly, and Levi wondered whether Erwin had eaten or drunk something weird to make him a bit loopy. You don’t just say shit like that with no warning.

But when Erwin’s head lifted and their eyes met, Levi knew that Erwin was serious. His eyes were firm, but his smile was soft; the same look he had when he first told Levi he loved him. This clearly wasn’t a game or a joke. 

Levi sat dumbfounded while Erwin crawled up his body so he could take his face into his hands. “I’m going to marry you.” A kiss. “And we’re going to settle down in a seaside village.” Another kiss. “And we’re going to run a small business.” And another kiss. “And we’ll have time for lazy morning sex and cuddles.” And another kiss and another kiss and another kiss.

Erwin clutched at Levi’s body, nails digging into his back, and Levi arched into the touch. Erwin’s mouth was at his ear now, desperate to make sure that Levi heard every single word he said. And Levi listened intently, eating up the words like he was starving and craving it. This beautifully crafted fantasy that Erwin was giving to him would clearly haunt him in his dreams to come. 

“And we’re going to have children, Levi. Three children. Two girls and one boy. And we’ll name them after all the people - the friends - we’ve lost, Levi.” Erwin’s voice was delirious, riding the high of his fantasy. It was so vivid, Levi could almost feel it right in front of them. “We’ll love them unconditionally, and they’ll bring us so much joy. We’ll feel alive again, like humans. I know we will, Levi. We’ll _feel_ that again.”

“But what about the titans?” Levi whispered brokenly into Erwin’s neck, bringing them both back down to reality.

_What about the titans?_

They continued to cling to each other, but it wasn’t the same. They were both silent as they tried to sort out their thoughts, and tried to find an alternative solution that would grant them the victory of defeating the titans and the happiness of a marriage. But there was no real solution. Defeating the titans for the good of humanity would beat out marriage every single time, and they would fight for that freedom until their last breath. 

“We’ll just have to make sure we win,” Erwin said finally, softly stroking Levi’s hair. 

But winning was never the problem; it was surviving.


	13. Kitten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> birdwinsmith asked: For the prompt, how about Erwin bringing home a kitten

“Erwin, what the fuck is that?” Levi asks, pointing towards the black creature that was slowly trotting towards him.

“It’s a kitten,” Erwin says simply, cooing. “Isn’t he beautiful?”

“No,” Levi replies in disgust. He backs away as the kitten gets closer. “He’s disgusting. He’ll piss and poop all over the fucking apartment, not to mention his hair. Ugh, all the fucking hair I’m going to have to sweep up and vacuum, it’s gross.”

“We can train him,” Erwin says, saving Levi from the kitten by picking him up and patting him sweetly. “And I’ll help you clean up. It’s just a kitten, Levi. I found him outside and the cat shelter couldn’t take him.”

“No,” Levi says firmly, a sharp edge to his voice that demands obedience. “He’ll be gone by the morning.”

Erwin sighs, lifting the kitten to his eyes. “I’m sorry, little guy. I didn’t think he’d react that way.”

Erwin sets up a small contained area with cardboard in the corner of their living room so that the kitten doesn’t wander the apartment. He sighs, not want to subject the little kitten to more torture than what he’s already been through.

He doesn’t want to let the kitten go, but if Levi doesn’t want him, he has no choice. 

But much to Erwin’s surprise, he wakes up the next morning to find Levi sitting on the floor, while the black kitten climbs all over him in curiosity.

Looks like Erwin wasn’t the only one to be charmed by the creature.

Erwin strode up and took the the kitten into his arms.

“What are you doing?” Levi asks, pouting and reaching out for the kitten.

“I’m taking him away, like you said.”

“His name is Evan and he’s staying here,” Levi says firmly, taking the kitten back and placing him back into his lap. The kitten starts purring as Levi scratches behind his ears, and the sight warms Erwin’s heart.

“But I thought you said-”

“I know what I said,” Levi dismisses. “But I like him. He’s staying.”

“Okay then,” Erwin says, knowing that there’s no arguing with Levi. Not that he wants to, anyway.


	14. Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erwin dies and Levi cries. Depictions of death, read at own risk,

Levi saw it, but couldn’t stop it. 

It was the simple swipe of a titan’s arm, hitting him completely out of the blue. There was no chance of dodging it, not while on a horse. There was no screaming or yelling, and no longing glances or last goodbyes.

It wasn’t a heroic death or a symbolic death or a meaningful death. It was a weak death. An underserving death. The only comfort was that it was a quick death; Erwin never saw it coming.

Surprisingly, the titan did not decide to eat Erwin’s mangled body. His spine was bent completely out of shape and his bones protruded grotesquely from his skin, and it made Levi wonder if the titans had standards, like Erwin’s body was too grossly destroyed for their stomaches. Instead, the titan surged for Levi, who took him down in one clean swipe.

Once he had finished, he looked back at Erwin’s body - a proper look, without any distraction - and he remembered the many times this had happened before. Bodies hanging from 3DMG wire, bodies crushed against trees, bodies with their legs ripped off and bodies that were decapitated. All of them angered him. All of them made him blood thirsty. All of them made Levi hack and slash at a titan in revenge .

And yet staring at Erwin’s body, Levi didn’t feel anger or rage. He felt sad. The kind of sad that leaves you lifeless and devastated and unwilling to live anymore. The kind of sad you don’t get over. The kind of sad that will stay with you forever.

Levi swooped forward with his 3DMG, scooped Erwin’s body into his arms and headed for the highest tree. He didn’t want the other Survey Corps soldiers to see it. Not just his mourning, but Erwin’s lifeless body.

He made himself as comfortable as he could, and simply held Erwin, watching while his blood poured from his body, the colour drained from his skin and the light dimmed behind his eyes.

“You’re not going to die,” Levi whispered. “ _You are not going to die._ ”

The lie was thick in his mouth.


	15. Burn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cigarette burns in a BDSM related context. NSFW. Reader discretion is advised.

Erwin burns Levi. With his lips, gracing the top of Levi’s skin, warm and delicate, yet harsh and demanding. Sometimes Erwin bites and sucks, leaving purple bruised teeth marks littered down his neck, down his arms, down his chest. Erwin is relentless; never stopping until Levi shakes and shudders from oversensitivity. 

_You’re so needy, so wanton, such a slut for me._

Erwin burns Levi. A harsh touch to Levi’s neck, clutching with enough force to leave him winded for air and too broken to speak. A flat hand, drawn back and impaled down, leaving the sound of a clap and the feeling of a sting. Thick fingers sink into Levi’s hole, spreading him wide and filling him up. And with a jerk to his cock, Levi is gone with a scream, completely lost to the pleasure.

_Take the pain, and I’ll give you more._

Erwin burns Levi. The toxic smoke inhaled forcefully, irritating his lungs, forcing him to cough and splutter with a metallic tang in his mouth. Levi has never been good at smoking, or inhaling smoke, but Erwin forces it on him anyway. He takes drag after drag, holding the smoke in his own lungs before mashing his lips upon Levi’s, forcing it down his throat. Levi coughs and coughs and coughs, but he keeps it in, just for Erwin. 

_You love this. You beg for this. You’d die for this._

Erwin burns Levi. Hot and sharp and blinding, leaving ashy red blisters on his bare chest. Fingers dig into skin, into scars, leaving more and more as they continue, until Levi is littered in both white bumpy marks and fresh raw welts. Levi’s skin is for Erwin to have, to abuse, and to love. 

_So beautiful. My own canvas._

Erwin burns Levi. And Levi cries; warm salty tears running down his cheeks, too emotional to keep them at bay, such a contrast to his usual stoicism. When he’s done, Erwin wipes them away with a gentle thumb, like the calm after a storm. Soft words of encouragement are eaten up by Levi as he spills into Erwin’s hand at his command. Levi honours his new scars, looking down at them with pride. 

_Good boy, so good for me._

This isn’t normal. If anyone were to lift Levi’s shirt, they would surely be disturbed by everything that Erwin leaves in his wake. 

Erwin burns Levi, but he loves it.


	16. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eruri fucking after chapter 67. NSFW, obviously.

It hadn’t taken long.

Their group, bloodied, bruised and exhausted, had finally completed the mission, and were finally able to rest. Levi was physically falling apart. His eyes were drooping, his limbs were tired and his body stunk. He was in need of a good shower and good meal.

And yet, he still found himself sitting on Erwin’s cock, knees burning as he continued to pull himself up and down with strenuous effort. They hadn’t been together like this in a long time, so long that Erwin had to prep Levi more than usual in order to accommodate for the stretch.

It hurt a little, but Levi revels in the feeling. It meant that he was alive, surviving even his worst enemy. It also meant that Erwin was alive, even after being arrested and chained and tortured by the people who were supposed to rule for the good of the people.

Even through his lusty haze, Levi could see the ugly bruising that marred Erwin’s face… But that was a discussion for another day.

“Fuck,” Levi yells, grabbing and tugging on anything his fingers could find. He was losing his grip on reality and fading fast, so close to the end, but still not there. 

Erwin let out a low growl, turning Levi around awkwardly with his arm and pinning him to the mattress as he fucked up hard. There was a high pitched gasp and an elegant arch in Levi’s back as Erwin drove him into ecstasy again and again and again until he was desperately writhing and panting and screaming into a release.   
They hadn’t done it like this after Erwin lost his arm. At first, he hadn’t had the strength, so Levi would always assume their previous position and ride him on top. But now, Erwin was powerful and strong, his one arm effectively holding Levi to mercy just like usually did.

Somewhere, Levi can hear Erwin’s panting,

“Levi… Oh, Levi… Sh-Shit. You’re so good. So good… Fuck, Levi… I- I love you. _Fuck._ ”

Erwin’s hold on Levi’s body is tight and possessive, as if Levi was going to disappear at any second and Erwin was desperate to make sure he stayed. When the shudders of Levi’s orgasm die down, he opens his eyes to find Erwin staring back at him.

“You heard that last part, didn’t you?” Erwin asks, worry etched upon his face.

“Of course I did,” Levi murmurs, voice soft and careful. He doesn’t have to be harsh anymore, not while Erwin is here. “Do you want to take it back?”

“No. Never.”

“Then everything is okay." 

For now, at least.

Erwin smiles, small and fleeting, and Levi simply pecks him delicately on the cheek, his own special way of showing affection. Even if he doesn’t, and can’t, say the words, deep down Levi knows that Erwin is loved.

_Levi._

_Erwin?_


	17. Soft

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omega!levi and alpha!erwin

Erwin’s fingers glide softly down Levi’s jaw, his touch careful not to discomfort him. Erwin was fascinated, always fascinated, by how a beautiful creature like Levi would ever willingly give up his body, mind and soul to him. Especially Levi, who told many people multiple times that he was never going to take an Alpha. That he didn’t need him.

But somehow, Erwin had managed to create a space safe enough for Levi to act on his true feelings and desires, where his Omega instincts blossomed under Erwin’s care. In split seconds, Levi’s hard military mask could fall and he would be situated in Erwin’s lap purring and mewling at his touch. 

At first, Erwin found the responsibility of taking care of Levi daunting. He struggled to command a military regiment, let alone an Omega mate. But when Levi was by his side or in his arms, everything made sense. The fog in Erwin’s mind cleared and he knew what path he should choose. Levi made him a better person, and a better leader.

Erwin’s fingers move further down, trailing over Levi’s neck, emitting a small shudder of pleasure from the Omega under him. "I wish I could be by your side forever,“ Levi murmurs. 

Erwin always encourages Levi to voice his words of insecurity and doubt when submitting to his Omega senses. This is no exception. 

"You will be, my darling, even when we’re out there fighting, even when death takes one of us first, you’ll always be by my side. I won’t ever leave you.” Erwin’s hand trailed up to Levi’s breast, circling just above his heart. “I’ll always be here.”

Levi visibility melts into Erwin’s body blissfully, and Erwin is so pleased to have him there. So pleased that Levi, his beautiful Levi, is safe in his arms.


	18. Bottom Erwin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first time Erwin bottoms. NSFW to the max.

“Relax,” Levi whispers, “You’re tensing too much.”

“It’s kinda hard not to,” Erwin chokes, squirming underneath Levi’s lithe, but strong, body. He can’t help but let out a squeaky high-pitched moan when Levi hooks his finger up to find his prostate. “Fuck.”

Levi smirks, surprised that Erwin would let his control go like that, even for a second. The idea of Erwin fucked out, lying on his bed and covered in his come makes Levi hunger for more. 

It’s then that Levi swears to make Erwin fall apart in a slutty mess.

With warning he slips another finger inside and Erwin gasps in surprise. "What the fuck, Levi?“

"Does it hurt?”

“No, but it’s fucking… _ah,_ it’s too much.”

Levi pauses. “You’ve never fingered yourself, have you?”

Erwin doesn’t reply, tipping his head to the side and to look away from Levi. “Hey,” Levi mutters, kissing his cheek and then his neck and then his chest. “It’s alright. I just have a lot to show you.”

Erwin nods and Levi slowly starts to move his fingers again, scissoring in and out of Erwin’s hot flesh. Erwin’s breathing starts to slow, and Levi decides to add another, but not before lubing his fingers up further.

The gasps Erwin emits are delicious. 

“Fuck, Levi, oh God,” Erwin moans, once again squirming onto Levi’s fingers. His cheeks are bright rosy pink and his skin is covered in a layer of thick sweat.

Levi can feel his cock leak at the sight.

He continues, slowly dipping his forth finger in and out.

“Levi, Levi, Levi,” Erwin chants, mouth overtaken by the pleasure. “Fuck me. Do it. _Please._ ”

“Are you sure?” Levi murmurs, fingers stilling as he cups Erwin’s body with his own.

“I’m sure. I trust you.”

Those three simple words, the ones that mean more to them than ‘I like you’ or 'I love you’. Their relationship, slowly built brick by brick, revolves around it.

_Trust. ___

__It’s usually Levi saying those words and Levi trying to prove himself and Levi giving up his control and his life to Erwin so completely. Erwin doesn’t have anything to prove. Erwin has all the power. Erwin is the Commander._ _

__And as much as Levi loves the feeling of giving himself to Erwin, he has also become enraptured with the idea of the powerful and respected Erwin Smith being fucked by him like a slut._ _

__It’s symbolic as much as it is erotic._ _

__Levi rolls the condom onto his cock and lubes it up sufficiently. He knows from experience; you can never have enough lube._ _

__His cock isn’t as big as Erwin’s, naturally, but that doesn’t mean he can’t fuck Erwin like his life depends on it. It’s for the best really, with Erwin’s virgin asshole so wickedly tight._ _

__He pushes in slowly and softly, listening and looking at Erwin’s every sound and move. When it looks like he’s pushed too far, he pulls out slightly. When it looks like Erwin is getting restless, he pushes further in. By the time he’s filled Erwin completely, the man is shivering underneath him._ _

__“Are you okay?” Levi asks._ _

__“Y-Yes,” Erwin stutters - and _God_ \- Levi fucking loves his stutter. His vulnerability in this moment is so precious, and Levi will treasure it forever. “Start m-moving.”_ _

__Erwin’s nails scrape down Levi’s back as he starts to push in and out. At first, he simply grinds against Erwin, slow and steady, mostly making sure that Erwin is comfortable. Once he’s satisfied Erwin’s used to the feeling, he pulls all the way out and thrusts back in with moderate pressure._ _

__Erwin screams._ _

__“Now you know how it feels when you fuck me too fast too soon.”_ _

__Sweat rolls beautifully down Erwin’s forehead._ _

__“M-More."_ _

__Levi complies, thrusting into him again and again. By the time he starts to really speed up, Erwin is lost completely, limbs like jelly against the mattress as his mouth opens wide for the most delicious sounds. Levi knows he can’t hold on for much longer, with Erwin’s tight hole drinking him up so well, and Erwin’s debauched body underneath him, it’s going to be quick._ _

__He reaches down and starts to quickly and firmly stroke Erwin’s cock, the action emitting another scream from Erwin._ _

__"You should come now, Commander,” Levi pants, fucking into Erwin as fast as he can. “That’s an _order._ ”_ _

__Both their bodies arch as they fall over the edge, come spurting all over Erwin’s stomach and asshole. Levi forgets to stay aware in order to listen to Erwin’s orgasm noises, losing himself to the black abyss of pleasure as well._ _

__They collapse in a tangle of limbs._ _

__When Levi comes to, he curls his lip in disgust at the stinky, smelly mess they’ve made. Fucking in the shower seems like a solid plan right now._ _

__“Not as easy as it looks, is it?”_ _

__“My respect for you has grown exceedingly, Levi.”_ _

__Levi scoffs._ _


	19. Touch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW!!!!

Levi loves the way Erwin touches him.

Erwin’s thick, calloused fingers trail over the most sensitive parts of him - his neck, his sides, his thighs - sending deep shivers down his spine. He draws in circles and spirals and swirls, like Levi is a human canvas. There’s a delicacy to his touch, like Levi is precious and loved and sacred, like Levi will break if he presses too hard, despite being the strongest man he knows. 

Erwin spends hours and hours tracing, and it works Levi to the edge, sweat and pre-come slicking their sheets as he ruts desperately against anything and everything. Erwin chides him for being so slutty, but he can’t help it. He feels so much, yet, at the same time, he feels nothing at all.

He comes undone when Erwin finally relents, trailing a single finger down the crack of ass, dipping only slightly into his hole as Levi comes in sticky strings all over their stomachs.


	20. Imagine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: headcanon that Levi is deeply in love with Erwin but does not act/show it to Erwin directly, because Levi knows that Erwin is focused on saving humanity and not personal "indulgences" like love. So he just quietly adores Erwin from a distance while also being the support Erwin needs.

Sometimes Levi lets himself imagine.

He imagines what it would be like to hold and touch and feel and taste him. What it would be like to spill his heart, to give up his lie and to be honest. What it would be like to have him accept his love and give it back just the same.

He imagines cold nights filled with warmth under his embrace. Calloused hands tracing down his skin, leaving goose bumps in their place. Soft kisses and sweet words, exchanged before the sun rises and their duty calls.

But it’s dangerous to imagine. Dangerous to want him.

Erwin will never love anybody. At least, not before Levi’s death.


	21. Home

Levi knows there are people surrounding them, congratulating them and cheering them, but he ignores it, striding firmly forward into Erwin’s single-armed embrace. For the first time in years, he moves according to his heart, not his brain.

Somehow their lips meet and Levi throws himself into it. He can almost feel the inquisitive and shocked glares of those around them, but he doesn’t care. Right now he only wants to touch and taste and _feel_ Erwin.

They no longer have to hide.

And Levi’s walls no longer have to protect him, much like the physical ones that have surrounded them for so long.

The tears leak involuntarily from his eyes and dirty his face.

“Why are you crying?” Erwin asks when they pull away.

Levi’s lips finally turn upward into a smile. “I’m home.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked:  
> Since it's September (which is basically Halloween lmao) and you write the cutest fluff, would you please write some autumn Eruri's? An always-cold Levi and Erwin who buys ugly big sweaters and hot chocolate and kissing under blankets and carving pumpkins and huge rain coats and storms. I have no idea for a plot/storyline or whatsoever but if you come up with an idea and feel like writing I'd be glad to read it c:

“Are you cold?” Erwin asks, catching Levi from behind, holding out one of two cups. Levi doesn’t respond, grabbing the cup from Erwin instead, bringing it to his mouth instantly.

The sweet tang of chocolate, warm and fuzzy, fulfils him more than any bitter coffee or mellow tea. Not that Levi doesn’t enjoy those beverages; to the contrary, he enjoys them more than a childish hot chocolate. But right now - when he’s cold and tired and just wanting to get home, slip off his boots, and cuddle under his sheets with Erwin - he’s not wanting to drink something bitter or mellow. He wants something sweet, the same way a child wants to trick-or-treat. 

Levi sighs when he’s done sipping, allowing the warmth of the liquid to travel down his tongue and warm his stomach.

“I am a bit,” Levi answers, taking another sip. “This is nice though.”

Erwin springs into action by shedding his coat, being the perfect fucking gentlemen that he is. Levi sighs. “You don’t need to do that.”

But Erwin is already placing his extra large blazer over Levi’s shoulders. He doesn’t dare bother putting his arms through Erwin’s sleeves, in fear of holding up a floppy excess of material. In all honesty, he feels like a child.

Then again, so does Erwin, whose lack of outer layer reveals a big oversized sweater, brown and beige and fluffy, with little orange cartoon pumpkins covering it all over.

Levi doesn’t bother to tease. They can both look like children together


	23. Sometimes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for break up eruris!!

Erwin tries too hard. He’s ambitious and calculating, always striving for the best, in both his career and his private life. He wants everything; a house, a marriage, three kids… He pushes and pulls and bends and breaks to get his way. He wants it so bad that he fights, with words, with anything he can muster, until Levi is left with no choice. 

Levi doesn’t try hard enough. He’s subdued and laid back, uncaring for things like a house or marriage or kids. He’ll miss dates and delete texts and avoid Erwin around the house. He loves Erwin - adores him, even - but Erwin pushes too far. He wants things that Levi doesn’t, and he’ll do anything to get his way. Levi loves Erwin; but he also loves his freedom, and his dignity. 

Sometimes, it’s not meant to be.


	24. Kill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't eruri but fuck it, whatev

Levi’s hands are painted red and burnt raw, marred by all the awful things he’s done. Kill, steal, fight, injure, hurt, torture, kill, kill, kill, _kill_. It’s all Levi seems to do. Kill. 

For titans, killing requires skill and knowledge. Anchor your hooks on its head or its upper back, move in fast, and swing like hell. Hit the weak spot behind the neck quickly, before it realises what you’re doing. Cut too wide and you can’t slice your blades all the way through. Cut too small or shallow and you won’t hit the weak spot. And down, the titan will fall. 

For humans, it’s simpler. A knife is his best weapon. Aim for a slash to the neck or a stab to the head, both do a quick job of it. It’s better to be quick, or you’ll have to watch the horror in their eyes as blood gurgles in their mouth and their limbs spasm in pain. When a titan falls, it disintegrates. When a human falls, they scream.

Or, sometimes, Levi doesn’t have to do anything to watch a human die. Death seems to follow him, chase him, never stopping to relieve him of any of the pain it brings. Levi wishes oh so pitifully, every single time, that it would be _his_ end, not theirs. But no, the people around him are fated to die, slowly falling one by one. His mother, his uncle, his best friends, his good friends, his acquaintances, his superiors, his soldiers, and the list goes, never stopping for anyone.

Everybody dies while Levi lives on; stuck in temporary immortality, staring at the blood stains on his hands, wondering if there will ever be enough soap in the world to wash them away.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked: Angsty Prompt! :D Levi gets badly injured and is forced to leave the Corps but he can't bare to be away from Erwin

“I’ll come and visit you,” Erwin says, as if to console Levi and heal him with words. But no amount of words can heal Levi’s spine, irreparably damaged from battle, leaving his legs useless and his body wheelchair bound. 

Erwin won’t visit him. There’s still too much left to do, and Levi isn’t going to hold him back from saving the world.

He’s disappointed in himself for ruining his body - for becoming useless and damaged. But most of all, he’s disappointed that he’ll no longer see Erwin every day. Levi has become accustomed to seeing Erwin’s face, and hearing his voice, and holding his body. Erwin has become a part of him, and he doesn’t know if he’ll survive without him. 

He’ll miss Erwin.

“Sure.”

They don’t say goodbye.


	26. How long

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "How long has it been?"

“How long has it been?” Erwin asks as he kisses up the column of Levi’s neck. The feeling, so phantom yet so real, makes Levi arch into the bed underneath him, head pressed firmly into a pillow. He can feel Erwin’s lips make their way up his neck, pressing against his ear. Erwin’s shaky breath and the warm air that follows it triggers small shudders down Levi’s body.

They’ve both been busy, often spending weeks apart. Running a military legion and organising a revolution was never going to be easy.

“How long has it been since I’ve had you like this?” Erwin’s lips are at his mouth now, bright blue eyes staring into his own grey. He gives everything to Levi, never holding back. 

“Too long,” Levi finally replies, leaning up to kiss Erwin on the lips. “Far too long.”


	27. Drunk

Levi sways, just slightly, reaching out for the nearest wall to steady himself. The cool touch of the brick feels fresh against his flushed skin, so he presses his head against it, searching for comfort.

He’s so incredibly drunk.

“Levi,” Erwin says, following a slight giggle. “What are you _doing?_ ”

“It feels nice,” Levi mumbles, nuzzling the wall, the rough grit of the brick lightly scraping into his cheek. Erwin then laughs, almost hysterically, mimicking Levi’s actions, and pressing his own cheek against the wall next to him

The party is slowly starting to wind down, but music still pounds at the floor, helping Levi in no way. The constant noise overwhelms him as his body struggles to understand and interpret his surroundings.

And the more overwhelmed Levi gets, the more gorgeous Erwin looks. 

Well, Erwin’s always been gorgeous, there’s no denying that. But in a haze of alcohol, every inch of Erwin’s body is more pronounced and desirable. His wine stained lips look simply delectable, just a short distance in front of him. Levi wishes he could take them in his own, and kiss Erwin with all he’s got. 

But Erwin has always been off limits. 

“Are you okay?” Erwin asks. He’s not quite drunk enough to stop being his rational, caring self. “Do we need to take a trip to the toilet?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Levi pushes himself off the wall, trying his best to say upright. He still sways. 

Erwin’s arm steadies him, threading underneath his armpits. At that point, Levi can’t help himself from embarrassing himself. His body falls, down into Erwin body, flush against his chest. The flesh beneath him, although clothed, is warm, firm and smells faintly of sandalwood. Levi inhales and nuzzles.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Levi says.

“Don’t be,” Erwin replies, with a careful caress between Levi’s shoulder blades. 

Erwin doesn’t let go, and Levi dares to look up. 

Their lips connect messily, with far too much tongue too soon. But the feeling consumes Levi, who’s unused to such intimacy. Kissing men has always felt mechanical and forced, but this is different. It’s uninhibited and raw and oh so real. Their lips slide together, sinking into each other, slowly losing any and all control.

Kissing your straight best friend shouldn’t be like this. _Feel_ like this. 

They slow down, and Levi stops his motions. Gives Erwin an out, if he wants it. Levi would go on in a drunken stupor, and both would pretend it never happened. But instead, Erwin’s hands trail down his sides to rest on his hips, griping at his bones. He pulls Levi’s mouth back into the kiss, devouring each other once more. Erwin’s unsaid confession lingers between their lips, a gentle surrender. 

So Levi pushes him, firm. 

They crash into the wall, the cool brick welcoming their embrace.


	28. Alive, and free

Levi brushes his fingertips against callous skin, marred by days old stubble. The owner of the scruff is asleep, unknowing to what his partner is doing. For the first time in a long time, his face is at peace. There’s no urgency or distress, just the soft sighs of sleep and the periodic shifts of a sleeping body.

They’re alive, and free.

\--

Erwin wakes to the smell of freshly cut grass, accompanied by the shrill chirps of birds and fauna. His eyes peek open to see black hair, shining against the light of sunrise. There’s a hand on his hip and a thumb drawing circles, around and around and around. He sighs, moving to seek out the source of the contact. 

They can rest, and love.


	29. Chapter 76

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on Chapter 76

Levi watches as Erwin destroys himself.

Sometimes he acts, but it never makes a difference. Levi could break Erwin’s legs, and he would still find a way to move forward somehow. His determination is unbreakable and unwavering. He will stop at nothing to seek the truth, and to find his dream.

He won’t even stop at Levi.


	30. Beard Stubble

Levi hates beard stubble. It’s a sign of uncleanliness and laziness, caused by people uninterested in person hygiene or image. Who knows what disgusting shit could be lurking inside the hair of a beard… and Levi doesn’t want to be close enough to know.

It’s why he’s standing in Erwin’s hospital room with a razor and bowl of water and soap in hand.

He can forgive Erwin for not shaving. The man has been unconscious for the better part of a week, after a complex surgery on the remainder of his right arm, and has been too frail to sit up straight. It’s understandable to make shaving less of a priority.

But Erwin with a beard looks pitiful, despite the fact that’s most likely how Erwin feels. Too many, including Erwin himself, would believe a soldier with one arm would be useless. Although Levi has his selfish reasons for shaving off Erwin’s scruff, he honestly just wants to make Erwin feel better. Erwin always prides himself in immaculate hygiene and appearance. It was one of the first things Levi noticed about him, and the first features Levi was attracted to. Erwin has always so clean.

When Levi had asked him why he kept himself so clean compared to the rest of the Corps, he had said, “I must look like a leader, or else, who will follow me?”

According to Erwin’s standards, he wouldn’t be a leader right now. He has a pale face, gaunt cheekbones, dark eyes and a face full of stubble. Levi can see that Erwin is hurting, and not just from the pain of his arm. Levi only wants to make him feel better.

And so, Levi enters Erwin’s hospital room with the shaving equipment.

“Hey,” Levi says. “I got you a present.”

Erwin scrambles to sit upright, and Levi quickly puts down the razor and bowl to help him. Erwin groans as Levi’s hands pull him upright by his stomach. Levi tries his best to not wound Erwin’s pride further, but he won’t do it at a detriment to his health.

“What’s all this for?” Erwin asks, looking towards the razor and bowl.

“For your scruff,” Levi says. “It’s time for it to go.”

Erwin’s left hand settles on his scruff, scratching at the skin underneath. The hair has grown in all directions, unused to being left alone.

“I guess so.”

“I know so,” Levi replies, readying the razor in his hand. “Lean back.”

Erwin does as he’s told, and Levi delicately shears the hair off his neck. He takes his time, refusing to nick Erwin or cause a rash. He shaves himself all the time, but has never shaved another person. The angles are unfamiliar and Levi often finds has to stop and reposition himself to find the right angle.

The actions are intimate, Levi realises. Even though he trusts Erwin with all his heart, he would never let anyone bring a blade to his neck or face. It’s just too reminiscent of the Underground. But Erwin seems to be taking it well, leaning back with a still head, eyes closed and relaxed.

Their faces are awfully close to each other, enough so that Levi can smell Erwin’s mint fresh breath. He must have only just brushed his teeth for the morning with the assistance of a nurse. Levi smiles. Erwin will always be an obsessive teeth cleaner.

In a split second decision, Levi presses his lips to the patch of skin he had just shaved, briefly lingering there. Erwin opens his eyes, slightly surprised, and leans into it.

Eventually, Erwin’s hand finds Levi’s hair, tilting him in for a kiss. Levi easily complies, allowing Erwin to take what he pleases. After a week of worrying about Erwin’s health, Levi relaxes and allows himself to feel Erwin’s body. With a war looming, it might be a while before they can do this again.

When they part, Levi resumes to shave without word, a pliant Erwin underneath him.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eruri Secret Santa gift for @meekcheeks who wanted “Lazy mornings cuddling in bed, or hand holding~”. I tried my best to make it as fluffy as possible, and I hope it doesn’t disappoint!!! 
> 
> NSFW warning, too!!

Every day, Levi wakes to Erwin by his side, a strong and towering figure hidden by the white sheets of their bedding. His face is serene, and calm, and Levi can’t help but stare at the sight. He doesn’t know how, or why, he got so lucky to find Erwin. The pleasure of waking to a slumbering Erwin is something Levi will never take for granted.

Today, Erwin has one arm wrapped around his waist, curled in a possessive cuddle. Although Levi prefers to sleep without Erwin suffocating him, today he doesn’t mind. Having woken from nightmares of war and destruction, Levi finds himself loving this tiny moment, trapped in a time of peace.

Erwin’s grip on his body tightens, and Levi moans, letting his boyfriend pull him closer. Erwin buries his head in his neck, breathing in and sighing deeply.

“Ugh, Erwin,” Levi mutters, words slightly slurred. “Morning breath.”

“I’m just cuddling you,” Erwin says, “what’s wrong with that?”

“You breathe really heavily,” Levi huffs, pushing at Erwin’s shoulders.

“If I go and brush my teeth, will you kiss me?”

“No.”

But Levi feels the bed dip as Erwin leaves, heavy footsteps padding their way to the bathroom. Levi takes the moment to snuggle back down into his pillow, into the sheets, closing his eyes for a tiny moment of sleep.

When the footsteps return, they bring with them the smell of fresh coffee. Levi immediately sits upright, scrambling to find the cup in Erwin’s hand. Erwin hands it over, and Levi sighs in pure happiness.

The feeling of a warm mug of coffee in his hands always manages to wake him up and make him feel refreshed. He smells it before taking a tentative sip. It’s not too warm, so he takes another. It isn’t soon before he’s drained half the mug, liquid poured down his throat.

Erwin watches him the entire time.

“You’re so creepy,” Levi mutters, placing the cup in his lap. “But thank you for the coffee.”

Erwin leans forward into Levi, fingers threading through his hair. “Do I get my kiss now?”

Levi doesn’t reply, instead, leaning forward to kiss Erwin on his cheek. Knowing that it’s not what Erwin wanted, he pulls away with a smirk, returning to drinking his coffee once more.

Erwin groans and collapses into the sheets, rolling around in frustration before turning to face Levi again.

“You kill me in the best of ways, my darling.”

Levi snorts and decides to take pity on his boyfriend. He knows that when Erwin starts to get all sappy and poetic, it means he’s desperate. Levi discards his coffee to the bedside table and rolls on top of Erwin, hands placed in the bed on either side of his head. Knowing what Erwin likes, he positions his knee in between Erwin’s legs, right up against his crotch, rolling with his hips just slightly. 

“Do I get a kiss now?” Erwin asks, smiling in the best of ways.

Levi kisses everywhere. He kisses Erwin’s cheek, his forehead, his ear, his neck, his collarbone… He kisses everywhere but Erwin’s mouth, savouring it for last. He sucks and bites as well, leaving a small trail of red splotches down Erwin’s neck. He doesn’t suck hard enough for it to bruise, but the picture looks pretty in the meantime.

“You… tease…” Erwin gasps. Levi can feel his erection already, and leans his body down to grind against it slowly. “Ah!”

Erwin’s noises are always so delicious.

Levi finally gives in, planting a firm kiss to Erwin’s lips, sucking them onto his mouth. He guides Erwin’s tongue to his own, sensuously meeting in the middle, a slow dance between them. They ease into each other, with soft sighs and roaming hands. Levi can’t get enough of Erwin, as he searches for his warmth and touch and taste. 

Erwin’s hands thread into Levi’s hair, holding his head to the side as he bites and nips and sucks at his neck. Levi gasps through it, clutching to Erwin with everything he’s got. Pants are ripped off and fingers roam as Erwin prepares Levi, still loose from the night before. It isn’t long before Levi is sinking down onto Erwin’s hardness, lifting himself up and a down, panting as their bodies become one. Fingernails leave tiny crescents embedded in skin, and lips leave tiny trails of saliva that accompany moans. They breathe in each other, taking their time to live, and be.

Because in another world, they’d never get this chance.


End file.
